New show idea: The Massacre of the Carrots

I'm working on a new routine called "The Massacre of the Carrots." The idea is that I'll come up with 20 or more ways to kill a carrot. I've got a list.

It's not so much that carrots have ever hurt me. It's just that they're so darn smug.

Carrots are sort of the canonical thing to use when you do knife juggling and you want to prove the knives are sharp. They're great for that because they're not too messy, and because even dull knives can cut carrots. Heck, you probably know that you can cut a carrot with your finger. Well, my kids didn't know, so I was able to pull that trick on them. It's going into the show.

I need something to tie the whole thing together though. Maybe some way to transition from one carroty death to another.

Oh, it'd be neat, too, to be killed by the carrots myself at the end, maybe. Somehow.

If you've got ideas, add 'em in the comments.